School Study Guide: Teaching children how to build healthy friendships

Birmingham, Ala. (Oct. 13, 2025) — According to Merriam-Webster dictionary, the word friendship means the quality or state of being friendly. For some people, building a friendship is easy, but for others, not so much. For children, it is essential because it lays the foundation for a healthy, functioning adulthood.

“A healthy friendship is any relationship that promotes and builds a child’s confidence, self-esteem, and their ability to learn empathy and compassion for others,” said Dr. Dan Marullo, a pediatric psychologist at Children’s of Alabama.

Marullo says there are many benefits to building healthy friendships, and having friends is vital to a child’s health and well-being.  He also says that most children learn how to negotiate friendships with the guidance of parents, teachers, and other adults.  The first step is for parents to understand who their child is.

“Some children are going to be extroverted; they don’t meet a stranger,” said Marullo. “Some children may be more introverted. They may be the child who prefers just a small group of friends and likes having alone time. Neither is any better than the other; it’s just a different style of being.”

Marullo says that having healthy friendships at any age is important because humans are social animals. This is why we are in families and groups. He recommends that parents engage their children in activities that teach them how to share or take turns, and how to manage their frustration when things are not going the way they want.

“Another thing for parents is to understand that as long as children are safe, they don’t need to step in and fix all the squabbles,” said Marullo. “Kids need the opportunity to learn how to start working things out for themselves. If you watch children play, they will figure it out in most cases.”

Marullo says moments like this help a child grow, and parents can assist by giving them feedback on how they handled the situation. He also advises that if a child is hurting another child, parents do need to step in immediately.  He also acknowledges that for some children, building a healthy friendship is harder.

“Some children may have a social anxiety disorder and other kinds of anxiety disorders, and it may make it more difficult for them,” said Marullo. “Some children with specific issues, like neurodevelopment disorder and autism spectrum disorder, may need some specific therapies that help them learn how to manage relationships and be in the world.”

Marullo says children who have been hospitalized for a prolonged period of time or have a chronic medical condition may also struggle when it comes to building friendships. He recommends finding opportunities to engage them, such as summer camps.

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